It's never a bad time to give yourself a hand (or a few fingers) when it comes to your pleasure. While women are more forthcoming about the fact that they too (go figure) masturbate – the aura of guilt and shame surrounding the female vagina, and more importantly, female pleasure, prevents a few totally capable ladies from giving each other a hand when it comes to self-pleasure.
But what if you have never masturbated before or masturbate very rarely? What if you are in a relationship? What if you have an idea that maybe you don't want to touch your hands because maybe your nails are too long or something? We'll discuss 6 of the most frequently asked questions about masturbation and discuss the benefits of masturbation – so by the end of this section, you'll be ready to drive yourself anytime the urge strikes!
1. I have never masturbated before. How do I start?
Masturbation is not about rushing through anything. So the usual rules of not making your vagina go from 0 to 60 still apply here – meaning it takes time to warm up. That being said, give your brain a chance to relax too, because your brain really is your sexiest organ. Watch some erotic movies that you like or read some erotic fiction. Sit in your bath with some scented oil or lie in bed with soft music. Close your eyes and run your hands over your body. Play with your breasts, lightly let your fingers roam over your stomach or inner thighs. Maybe run your fingers lightly through your hair, as your scalp generally has very sensitive nerve endings. There really is no wrong way to start. Different things work for different people, so don't be afraid to try more things.
2. I feel weird when I touch my vagina with my fingers. Is it dirty? Safe? What if my nails are too sharp and I hurt myself?
First of all, nothing bad will happen to you when you touch yourself directly with your fingers or hands. Your vagina is not inherently dirty, nor will it swallow your fingers like a mousetrap if you dare to pleasure yourself. In fact, when your vagina is healthy, you may notice your own unique scent that you may have never noticed before. But don't worry, it's you! And you smell wonderful! (However, if you notice any irritation, a fishy smell, or any other odd odor, make sure you don't have a yeast infection or any other infection that can harm your pretty lady parts.)
If your nails are too long, then you can easily trim them, but if you are attached or let's say you still feel weird about it, don't worry! There are many women who do not use their fingers. That's why there are different ones sex toys that can help you get work done while you focus your hands on other parts of your body!
I highly recommend vibrating panties or any type of vibrator with multiple settings and vibration patterns. We recommend it Lelo, but any body safe toy brand will do!
3. What if I don't have an orgasm?
It's OK! The goal of any good masturbatory session is not to have an orgasm (although that's a plus), but to relax and give yourself some love. Some women experience orgasm when they masturbate, some do not. Some women experience orgasm only with partners. Some women can only do it alone. Most importantly, repetition is the mother of knowledge. And while you may not orgasm the first time you masturbate, that doesn't mean you won't because you'll get better at it in the future.
4. What if I'm in a relationship?
Many women believe that masturbating is only something that single women do because there is nothing to gain. However, they are misinformed! Many women masturbate and should masturbate even when they are in a relationship! Not only does it boost your confidence, but it also makes you more aware of what it does to your body when you have sex with your partner. Then you can tell your partner what you really like and then he can satisfy you! Not to mention, it's super hot to watch partners masturbate.
5. Are fingers and toys the only ways to orgasm from masturbating?
No! Some women like to lie in a bathtub with running water and masturbate there. (Bonus points if you have one of those detachable shower heads.) The water pressure can make for an incredibly pleasant experience. There are many different ways of masturbation. The limit is only your imagination!
6. When should I masturbate?
It really depends on you. There's no wrong time to do it (although I'd recommend doing it in private). Some people masturbate in the morning because they find it a great way to start the day. Some people masturbate at the end of the day as a way to relax. Some people masturbate while their partner is in the other room, some wait until everyone is asleep or when the house is empty. You do what suits you.
The benefits of masturbation
In addition to feeling great, there are real mental and physical health benefits to masturbating. A few are listed below, but almost anyone will tell you that a regular dose of self-love will do all of these things and more:
Makes you happier: Sure, Elle Woods has said that exercise releases endorphins, but you know what else it does? Orgasms. Plus, when you masturbate, you get those orgasms yourself.
Makes you feel more comfortable in your body: Here we stand for being #bodypositive. The benefits of masturbation allow you to get to know your body better and that is something incredibly powerful!
Relieves stress: Life is busy and stressful! Masturbating means you can release that stress yourself.
Builds Kegel muscles: You're literally exercising your vagina when you masturbate, which is honestly a lot more fun than squeezing and releasing your lady parts while you're late for a meeting in your car.
Makes sex better: You know your body – your partner doesn't (at least not as well as you do). Use it to both of your advantages by having the most satisfying sex ever while skipping that whole awkward, "Um, that feels weird."
No bad side effects: No STIs and no risk of pregnancy.
Keeps you in shape: If you're between partners, keep your sex parts lubricated and in shape so you never miss a beat once you try partner sex again!
Strengthens your immune system: Releasing the fighter cells while you masturbate means they will fight any disease you may have. Next time you have a cold, give it a try. Believe it will help!
Relieves menstrual cramps: Yes, you heard me right. All those feel-good hormones act as muscle relaxers. This can fill your menstrual horns without your penis hitting your cervix and making your cramps worse!
Helps you sleep: No more insomnia! The next time you wake up during the night, try masturbation. You will find that dopamine boost (after your orgasm) that will completely help you relax so you can go back to sleep.
